If you want your ex back, you most likely want it now. Unfortunately, it takes time for your ex to experience the mentality transformation that will bring them back to you, and it might take a long time. So, I’ve lately discovered a tendency among my customers that defies common thinking. I’m talking about individuals reuniting with their ex-partners after being away for extended periods of time…Six months, a year, and perhaps longer are possible.
Yes, against popular belief, it is possible to win back an ex after a lengthy period of separation. And it occurs more often than you may believe. It turns out that romantic love does not just vanish after a brief separation. In fact, spending time apart might make you recognize how much you rely on the other person in your life. This article isn’t only for those who have been estranged from an ex for a long period. This is also for those who have just broken up since some of these indicators will be obvious immediately away while others may take some time to emerge. Let’s start at the top of the list…
1. You experienced a tumultuous split.
If you and your ex had a turbulent relationship and a difficult split, it stands to reason that they will take a long time to return to you. “Our breakup was REALLY bad,” you may remark. Doesn’t it imply they won’t return at all?” No, not always. The most difficult ex to get back is the one who just doesn’t care. So, if your relationship gradually deteriorated, your breakup was probably quite uninteresting since you were both kind of tuned out. If your breakup was hot and flaming, it suggests you both had a lot of passion and cared about one other even as you were splitting up. So, although you and your ex certainly had major conflicts, you also had–and continue to have–major affections for one another. This combination will attract your ex back to you like a magnet, but it will take some time to get over all of the negativity.
2. Their new companion is identical to you.
Yes, this is something I’ve seen with my clients. They often bemoan the fact that their ex is dating again, which I completely understand. When we probe more into this new individual, we discover that they are essentially an exact replica of my client. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that if your ex is dating someone who looks like you, it’s an indication that they aren’t over you and will most likely return to you soon. So it may be that they look a lot like you, but it could also be about their attitude, their work, their mannerisms…whatever. The more boxes they check here, the more probable they are still interested in you. This is a rather regular occurrence. When we start dating too soon after a breakup, it’s typically because we want to replace the other person. So, if they wind up finding someone EXACTLY like you, it’s fairly obvious what’s going on.
And although you may not notice it directly, if your friends or their friends are bringing it up, it’s most likely true. Of course, your ex may just have a type, but if your ex’s new companion seems TOO similar, you should heed your instincts.
3. They are obstinate.
If your ex is obstinate, it’s a positive indicator that they’ll return…However, not straight away. It generally works like this with obstinate people: you bring up a problem in the relationship. They dispute with you…they claim this isn’t a problem or that you’re completely incorrect about it. You know this is significant, so you keep bringing it up. Instead of listening to your point of view, they wreck the connection so they don’t have to confess their mistake and change.
They experience a feeling of accomplishment that they didn’t budge now that you’re separated. But they know deep down that you were correct, and this feeling will gnaw at them over time. And the problem with obstinate individuals is that they are often lonely because they refuse to compromise and would rather shut people off than have a discussion. As a result, their loneliness will eventually draw them to you. But, of course, obstinate individuals don’t want to acknowledge they were wrong, therefore it will take them a LONG time to accept the truth that they need you in their lives. So be ready to wait.
4. You’re still in the same neighborhood.
I often discuss why you shouldn’t be friends with your ex if you want them back, and I still believe that…If you and your ex still hang out with the same people, go to the same places, and do the same things, it will benefit you if you’ve been away for a long time. In the near run, I still advise you to avoid them like the plague. Allow them time to miss you, heal from the breakup, and prevent misunderstandings and conflicts. This is known as No Contact, and it works quite well in the short term.
But after a month or two, you’ll need to figure out how to reconnect with your ex in a manner that doesn’t seem dangerous to them, and if you have a lot of shared friends or go to the same pottery studio all the time, this will be much simpler than if you have nothing in common. It will also offer you an excuse to reach out and ask inquiries without frightening them away. This first interaction will lead to more, and with a little skill, you’ll be able to reconnect with them.
5. They continue to attempt to make you envious.
This one works regardless of how long it has been after the breakup…If your ex is blatantly attempting to make you jealous, this is a solid indication that they want you back. Consider this: if your ex is over you and will never return, why would they care whether you are jealous or not? If your ex is open about being with someone new or dating around, it’s because they still want you to pursue them. In rare circumstances, it’s because they want to exact retribution and injure you… In any case, it demonstrates that they are still emotionally involved in you.
Whether or whether your ex is attempting to make you jealous on purpose, you must resist falling in if you want them to take you back. Don’t lash out at them or show any signs of being emotionally upset by their dating again after the breakup. Act as if you don’t care, and don’t even bring up or inquire about who they’re seeing. If you discuss their dating life following the split, or deliberately attempt to sabotage it by preventing them from meeting new people, you will only aggravate your position and diminish your chances of ever having them back. Anyway, simply stated, any form of jealousy–whether your ex becomes jealous or attempts to make YOU jealous–is usually a significant indicator that they still like and are interested in you.
6. They continue to contact you on significant events such as birthdays.
This one is quite typical, but it might reveal a lot about your ex’s emotional condition. It’s a positive indicator if they give you a birthday greeting. Even better if they utilize it to catch up and start a discussion. Bonus points if they contact you before you’ve even mentioned it anywhere. That suggests they’ve written it down, placed it on their calendar, or just recalled it…signs of a strong commitment. They may have been waiting for this for weeks just so they could contact you out of the blue.
7. They left things open-ended.
There are several methods to split apart. It might have resulted from a betrayal. It might be a gradual lack of emotions. It might be a massive knockout. However, sometimes a breakup leaves the door open for something else in the future. This is frequently accompanied by a few addendums. For example, whether you split up for “no reason” or because of some basic compatibility, this offer makes no sense. So, if your ex hasn’t given you this offer, don’t be disheartened; it’s pretty unusual. This is only true if the breakup is caused by anything that is keeping you two apart. Maybe now isn’t the appropriate moment. Perhaps one of you works a lot. Perhaps you’ll be gone for school. Maybe you’re going on a military mission.
There are so many variables that may derail a relationship that are completely beyond our control…Many of these things are just transitory. In this situation, if your ex says something like “if things were different” or “I wish this could work out” or “maybe someday when things are different,” it’s an indication that they’re leaving the door open for something in the future. It might be difficult to hear anything like this from someone who has just abandoned you, but it is a positive indicator that if circumstances improve, they will ultimately come back to you.
8. They’re still single.
Yes, even if your ex seemed to mourn the relationship and move on, the fact that they are still single indicates that they will ultimately return to you. There are many causes for this. A constantly single ex is likely to be someone who is picky about who they end up with. And the longer they go without finding someone that compares to you, the more probable it is that they will realize they gave up on you too early.
Because the thing about selective individuals is that they’re frequently quite dispassionate…which means they won’t become involved with the wrong person only to fill a void or because they’re overwhelmed by emotions, desire, or anything else. This lack of enthusiasm in your ex will assist you get them back since it indicates that they aren’t held back by their pride. Regardless of the immediate suffering, they will make the correct choice. That implies they are less likely to confess they were wrong to stop the relationship and seek for a second chance. And, of course, your ex may still be alone because they are unable to meet another partner. This method is less romantic, but it may be highly successful if you want them back since they will be motivated by desperation.
All you have to do is keep your calm so they don’t see how desperate you are. There are also exes who stay single because they aren’t over you. I’m sure you don’t need me to explain why this works in your benefit.
9. They want to be friends.
Is your ex insistent on being friends after your breakup? Maybe they discussed staying friends throughout the split, or maybe they simply began pitching the notion recently… Perhaps your ex is even attempting to make you feel terrible if you DO NOT agree to be friends, or if you take too long to answer to their messages or do not always agree to hang out or pick up their phone calls. For the purpose of this article, please know that if your ex appears adamant about keeping a friendship after you’ve broken up, it’s usually an indication they’re testing the waters and want to cautiously reconnect with you to see if you can start again.
However, continuing the friendship is not a smart idea. Your ex may continue to enjoy your company and lessen some of the most unpleasant post-breakup feelings by building a relationship with you. Rather than having to cope with the shock of their partner or girlfriend abruptly leaving their lives, being friends helps them to gradually acclimate to life after the split. It also assures that you’re still there as their “backup plan” in case they can’t take being alone and decide to change their minds and rekindle their relationship. This means that your ex isn’t happy with the prospect of a life without you after the split. They don’t want to let you go completely because they know they’ll miss you much more once you’re gone.
So, the more they seem determined to “stay friends,” the more they appear to be upset or hurt when you miss their calls, take too long to respond to their messages, or refuse to hang together or maintain a connection… The more clear it is that they miss you and are trying to find a method to keep you close. And if it’s been a long after your split, you could be tempted to use this as a ruse to get closer to them and finally win them back.
This is not something I encourage since it might generate a lot of confusion. Many ex-partners will be hesitant to seek a relationship with you, so being friends might serve as a decent happy medium for them.
