The silent treatment can be one of the most infuriating and damaging tactics narcissists use to devalue, control, and manipulate their victims. While momentary silence can be a normal reaction to conflict, narcissists weaponize the silent treatment to punish and invalidate. If you’re struggling with a narcissist’s ignoring and shunning, this article will explore effective techniques to stop the silent treatment for good.
How The Silent Treatment Is Emotional Abuse
Unlike emotionally healthy folks who may occasionally need some quiet processing time after arguments, narcissists use extended bouts of silence and ignoring as deliberate emotional abuse. The goal is to make you feel worthless and anxious trying to figure out how to regain their approval and get them to acknowledge you again. It drives victims to put the narcissist’s needs first and repeatedly try appeasing them.
This isolation and stonewalling causes extreme emotional distress. The narcissist has all the power while the victim is rendered helpless, desperately trying to fix the unspoken issue. Don’t let the narcissist’s aloofness fool you – calculated silence is anything but passive. It’s an insidious form of covert manipulation.
Ways To Make The Narcissist Stop The Silent Treatment
Shift Focus Back to Yourself
When targeted with the cold shoulder, immediately shift attention back to your own life and interests. Don’t chase after the narcissist begging them to talk to you. Continuing to offer love and support when mistreated just enables the abuse cycle. Refuse to play into their ploy by interrupting the silent treatment to ask what’s wrong. Your indifference will compel them to break the quiet eventually when they see the manipulation isn’t impacting you.
Speak Your Truth About The Abuse
Turn the tables and break the silence by calmly explaining how the narcissist’s behaviors, like ignoring you for days, are unacceptable and damaging to the relationship. Speaking honestly about your feelings, calling out their toxicity, and explaining the impact of the silent treatment shifts control back to you. It’s also an opportunity to establish clear boundaries against future ghosting episodes.
Change Your Mindset
Free yourself from the narcissistic fog by recognizing you alone control your happiness, no one else. The narcissist wants you to feel responsible for their emotions and fix them. In reality, their reactions originate internally. Adopting a mindset of emotional self-reliance is the healthiest coping mechanism and robs the silent treatment of its sting.
Implement Consequences
Healthy relationships require boundaries. Clearly tell the narcissist you consider the ignoring and cold shoulder mistreatment to be relationship dealbreakers. Follow through by immediately leaving the room when shunned and limiting contact until they can communicate respectfully about what’s actually bothering them deep down. Consistently enforcing these consequences will discourage future silent treatments.
What Not To Do
Reacting emotionally or dramatically when ignored only rewards the narcissist by supplying the attention and control they crave. Similarly, continually trying to reason with them or asking what’s wrong fuels further silent treatments. Avoid venting about the narcissist’s behavior publicly on social media too since that’s a response they’ll relish. Refrain from playing their game; it’s designed to manipulate your emotions.
In Conclusion
At the end of the day, the narcissistic silent treatment is all about regaining control over you by preying on emotional vulnerabilities. While ending the pattern won’t be easy, establishing boundaries paired with calm indifference robs the narcissist of their abusive power. With time, consistency, and self-care, you can curtail the manipulation. Prioritize your mental health – you deserve to be treated with empathy and respect by romantic partners. Don’t accept anything less.
